I'm a little overwhelmed here.... =/

What does Jesus say to his disciples to do and not to do?

I've thought a lot lately about what his command to follow him really should look like for me. One would reason we can follow Jesus' instructions to work toward being a disciple of Christ's. Jesus said his burden is easy and his yoke is light. I must be honest: Jesus' commands are freeing...don't worry...love the Lord your God...love others (neighbors, enemies, everyone)...reconcile with your brother...let your 'yes' be 'yes' and your 'no' be 'no'...Jesus is a simple way. A loving way. A way that promotes the kingdom of heaven. BUT (here's where that honesty comes in) I am struggling when I read all the rules in place after him that come from our brothers and sisters. Even those included in the Bible. In recognizing this struggle, I've been searching myself, trying to figure out what this thought process is routed in. So, if you will allow me such expressions of searching...

Paul was an excellent church planter and motivator to his flocks. It is well recognized that Paul wrote to many different churches in his letters, each of which were located in different regions, experiencing varying economical, political, religious and social backdrops. It would stand to reason that his teachings to each church would be directed to the spiritual betterment of each individual church. Those churches didn't chase down each other's letters to compare instructions, did they? Employees give separate tasks to develop different employees, based on the skills they can grow in. Church leaders appoint different individuals to different tasks, based on their preference and skills. A shy person who is very responsible may be a treasurer, while an outgoing individual who enjoys socializing may be a greater...both can grow better in their task by receiving separate instructions, both applicable to the person and task, both to better the servant, but separate instructions. 

Not only do we have Paul's letters, we have letters from Peter, John, lots of instruction to lots of different people. I think you see where I'm going with this. I am overwhelmed. Paul tells women to be silent in a church that has some very disrespectfully vocal women, so females are to remain silent always, never telling the gentlemen anything? Why on earth did the angel in the tomb tell Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the others with them to go tell the guys what they saw? Why didn't he tell them to go get some men so the boys could start teaching each other? Maybe because the women were in a position God wanted to use them in to receive his due glory. Maybe because they were different instructions in different situations to different people. 

Overwhelmed. And I truly believe it's because those instructions are not for me. The basis of all of Paul's instructions have great, deep, core-cementing connections to Jesus' teachings and the truths Paul received by the Holy Spirit. His letters are a record for us to see Paul putting into action his understanding of what he was taught. By God. Paul is very adamant that he was revealed such things by God, not man, and Paul takes a great ownership in learning and understanding what he was taught. Maybe that's why his instructions don't ring as sound to me. I was taught them by man. Now, Jesus. Jesus teaches me truths on love. Jesus reveals to me that when he reveals to me truths of the kingdom, I can follow those truths and build my life around those instructions. And my life may not be Paul's life, but it shouldn't be. It should be the life Jesus wants me to live so God can receive glory. I can follow Jesus' teaching and become a follower of Christ because I want to become a follower of Christ. I can't follow Paul's teachings in Corinthians and become a member of the church of Corinth. 

So, do I reject all of Paul's teachings? No way! We can gain great insight and wisdom by all others practicing their faith. To reject any teachings on such a basis would only be giving in to a spirit of rebellion. Can I have a real, earth shattering faith without mirroring the church of Ephesus? Yes. Can I grow by seeing their instruction and encouragements? Yes! Can I pick and choose through the Bible and only follow the instructions I think are easiest for me under the rouge that they are the most "applicable?" Well where's the benefit in that??? Can I focus so intensely on the love Jesus tells me to practice everyday that I forget the need for 'rules' because my focus is to show the love of God to a world desperately in need of the Truth? I think so...

After all...it seems like when I'm not focused on doing good I begin to see where I can push the envelope a little farther on other things. It is in complacency we seek out controversy.

feed me!

In my desire to meet a challenge thrown out before my small group last week, I have been very aware of my actions because we are looking for ways to 'be Jesus' to someone. Not that we shouldn't have been doing that all along, but just knowing someone is going to ask you what you've done this week makes all the difference.
Beginning this challenge, however, I'll tell you, I wanted to be the one who went out and 'saved' everyone they laid eyes on. I wanted to get back with my group and, ever so humbly, say "I searched high and low for lost souls. I shared with them the gospel, they repented, and I baptised all 700 of them in the Ohio River. Twice." Just to be sure. But as the week went on, I got a little frustrated because God was not giving me the opportunity to dunk people! It was somewhere between frustration and recognizing my pride that I began to ask God what 'being Jesus' really looked like.
I stressed over this for quite some time, and it wasn't until I was making dinner for myself and the hubby tonight that things started to click. I looked through the pantry to see what we would have, and I felt a twinge of what I can only describe as "shucksness" when I realised we are low on the protein and won't be getting the Angel Food we ordered until next weekend. I saw the large amounts of beans I had stocked up on for 'such a time as this' (that's a good Flynn Adam song) and figured I could make a poor man's chili out of the random goods I had in the house. I poured the beans in the water and something in that (I know, go figure) got me to thinking. Jesus loved people and met their needs. I took a picture of the beans, as you can see, because that moment was just too cool. I spent the rest of the evening thinking about the beans, which wasn't as great a waste of time as you might think!
I found Matthew 25 (thanks to http://www.biblegateway.com/):

34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

I visited a friend in jail a few years back. Seriously, that's what popped into my head when I read this, because the flesh of me wanted to justify lacking on the simple task of meeting the needs of those around us and going out of our way to show love to them. But you can't justify not feeding the hungry, or clothing the naked, or loving the broken.
I enjoyed matching this with the beans because Jesus didn't say 'give t-bone steaks to everyone to show them how much money you have.' (that is a cliche I know, t-bone steaks, but to be honest, I don't know if they are truly something expensive...) I served my husband beans this evening, mixed with leftovers, noodles, and a lot of 'special' ingredients, and it was a good meal that I would have loved to have shared with someone in fellowship. But I think the even cooler part of those verses is when Jesus says the righteous will say 'Whoa! You are giving me credit for doing things, but Jesus when did I do all that?' How amazing would it be to have such a fullness and overflow that you are just pouring out love and not keeping a tally??? The challenge is good, but it's just the beginning. We all have our tendencies, and we will always have our flesh saying to fight our Father, but what if in the day-to-day we just loved without a track record? Is that what the writer's meant when they said it was impossible to write down everything Jesus did, because there would not be enough books in all the world to hold it all? The only keeping love from running rampid in me is...me.
So, in summary, take pictures of your beans, but then share them. Then, instead of giving yourself enough time to get big headed on your sharing skills, die to yourself yet again, and go love some more. That way, we are not left years later thinking 'I'm covered because of that one time I shared those beans.....' =) Amen.